There are many kinds of orgasms and intensities, however for most women clitoral stimulation is necessary in reaching an orgasm. Very few women can reach an orgasm purely through vaginal intercourse. Other factors could also play a part:
a) Once again the psychological aspect plays an important role – that can literally make or break a good climax as we’ve discussed in a previous post. This usually happens with an old partner (literally and figuratively speaking – especially when the magic evaporates and the stresses of everyday life get in the way. You do the same old thing, but your thoughts are a thousand miles away.
b) Another factor that can severely damage a good climax is performance anxiety – especially during the first few times with a new partner. You are probably so concerned about what he thinks about your body or techniques that you are not focusing on the task at hand or the pleasure you are receiving.
c) That thing he does… It can be very disturbing when you’re getting down to business and you are in 7th heaven, loving what he’s doing when his hand just moves a little bit too hard over a tender spot or even worse – he moves it away from the spot completely…
d) Infidelity. If you are concerned that your partner is having an affair you may not feel too drawn to him or if you are having an affair perhaps your mind might be on your lover and you’d find fault with your partner’s every move.
e) When sex hurts physically, an infection or physical issue could be to blame and I would refrain from sex until that is sorted out.
It is important to find out what the reason is behind you not enjoying sex or not reaching an orgasm at least some of the time and then acting on that to find the solution. As always, you are welcome to comment on this blog with questions or just to share experiences.