So you think you've met the one for you. You've been out on several dates and become intimate with your new partner, but you're hiding a secret that's burning deep inside you; a fantasy or maybe a fetish that you know could make or break your future together.
It's a dilemma that many will have faced, not knowing whether to broach the subject, for fear of ridicule or rejection, which in itself can cause anguish and anxiety. In our opinion it is always better to be open and upfront about any fetish or fantasy that you have a desire to carry out. Just imagine how wonderful it would feel if after considering it with your partner, you realize that he or she is exactly the same thing as you are. Of course not every fantasy can or has has to be lived out. In reality some of the darkest and more obscure ones are probably best kept locked inside your subconscious mind.
So when and how do you bring the subject up and find out whether you are a match made in heaven or a sexual disaster waiting to happen? This will be a sensitive subject, so take things slowly. Gauge your partners reaction, from subtle comments or hints made over several weeks. From this you should be able to steadily come to a solid decision on whether your partner will be inspired or disgusted by your needs and desires.
Porn can also be a great way to find out what makes your partner tick, but this in itself can give you clues into their mindset. Complete refusal from your partner to watch it with you can signify a hang up about sex or insecurity about the relationship or even their own self image. If you do get a willing response, then find some porn that touches on your own particular vice and see where it takes you. A demand to turn it off immediately will not be what you want to hear, but at least you will know where your boundies lie.
Like a lot of things in life, sexual compatibility will come down to luck. For the middle aged man that gets turned on by wearing a nappy and pretending to be a baby again, the chances of finding a willing 'mother figure' will be pretty slim. For less extreme and more common desires, such as bondage or role play, you may be surprised on how many others are out there looking for the same experience.
Successful relationships are built on both honesty and compromise, so although you may not get to relive your secret desires to the full, you may be able to reach a happy medium that is acceptable to both of you. It is far better to talk and discover each others sexual preferences and dislikes than to wonder and continue to be frustrated about what could have been.
You may think that you are the only one that has this fetish or fantasy, but as we are all human, the chances are there will be thousands of other people out there that are thinking and wanting exactly the same thing. A good sexual relationship is a big part of any partnership, so do not be put off discussing your own desires through fear of rejection. Your sexual satisfaction and realization of your fantasies might only be a conversation away.